A Club No One Should Join

Last week a friend of mine gingerly told me about a coworker/friend of hers that had recently given birth to premature twins and she, my friend, had just found out that one of the babies passed away.  I have not been able to get this momma out of my head since.  Thinking about her has led me to think about what I went through.  There is so much I would love to tell this momma.  Things like:

     - You will find a way to continue on for your children; not just the surviving child, but BOTH of them.

     - Memories of your child will be bittersweet for a long time.  I cannot tell you how long since it still happens for me, but I suspect it will be that way forever.  BUT, there will also be times when you think of your child with nothing but love and happiness.

      - Seeing or even hearing about other twins will drive you mad for sometime.  It's very hard to be jealous of people with twins and at the same time feel happiness that another mother didn't go through what you went through.

     - You sort of feel like you don't have a "group" to belong to.  You're the momma of twins, but you only have one baby to care for.

      - At first people will try to comfort you.  No it doesn't make you feel better that loved ones who have passed are looking after your child.

      - Then people will be fearful to mention your child's name.  It will at times feel like you are the only one who remembers that your baby was here.

     - Then people will get to a place where they can mention your child, but they are still not comfortable.  This will take some help from you to get them there.  Talk about your child when you are strong enough to.  People will ask you how many children you have.  Their comfort be damned, tell them you have a child in Heaven.  When someone asks me if Jack is my only child, I say, "No, he has a twin brother who is no longer with us."  Some people will walk away from the conversation, some will change the subject, but I refuse to ignore my child for their comfort.

     - There will be times, and they will surprise you, but there will be times when you think about your child and miss them so much you can feel the ache in your heart.  You will have good days and bad days.  You will feel guilty for laughing, but you will also pick yourself up after a day of crying.  You will never forget and it will not "get easier," but you will find a way to go on.

Through everything you have to find things that you do for you to help you through.  Find someone or a group to talk to.  I love reading the postings from Mommies with Angel Babies on Facebook.  Sometimes they make me sad, sometimes I smile, but every time I know there is someone out there who does understand.

There are so very many more things I would love to share, but most important is, do not be afraid to talk to your child about their special angel.  I always talk to Jack about Kyle.  When we say our prayers at night, we always say "Goodnight Kyle.  We love you and miss you very, very much."  I take Jack to visit Kyle's grave.  Jack picks out decorations for the different times of year.  Some people think it's weird that Jack is comfortable going to see Kyle and playing in the cemetery, but I think it's important.  Jack knows he has a brother.  He's still a little young to understand how his brother saved his life, but that time will come.

Time For His Checkup

On Friday, March 7 Jack went to Dr. J at Lurie for his most recent post-surgical checkup.

Dr. J commented that his leg looks great in a certain position from the x-rays.  Now, I'm not sure exactly what that means for the other views, but I'm trying not to over think things since the first words out of Dr. J's mouth when he came into the room were, "Jack you're amazing."

Jack had three questions about his visit and I encouraged him to ask Dr. J himself.

Question #1 - Are you going to use a saw when you take out the metal?
     No. No saw.

Question #2 - Are you going to use a screwdriver when you take out the metal?
     Yes he will use a screwdriver.

Question #3 - Can I start learning how to play hockey?
    I think this picture best answers that question

Jack will begin taking skating lessons in April!

As for his next surgery, Dr. J is okay with doing it in August before school starts so that Jack won't miss any school.  The procedure is supposed to be an outpatient procedure.  But with Jack's throat issue, as always, I will pack for at least an overnight stay.  

We will be going back in June for a mini visit.

Those Darn Leprechauns!

I knew Ms. Sam and Ms. Meg teaching kids to track leprechauns would lead to nothing but trouble.  Jack seems to have attracted the fancy of a leprechaun name Erin!

First she wrote on Jack's forehead in Green and colored his hair while he was sleeping

Then she rearranged the living room

Obviously she's been on Pinterest - lol

She wrote on the door!

She wrote on Jack's iPad

I'm not sure what she was doing on Jack's table

She even turned his milk green

"Not cool!"

Green footprints outside

Then while Jack was at school she obviously thew a party

She left a clue for her fellow leprechauns 

But at least she left Jack presents

Park District Review - Leaping Leprechauns

Jack went to the Grayslake Park District program "Leaping Leprechauns" tonight.  This was a drop off class that started at 6:15pm and was over at 8:00pm and runs $26 - $32.

While I appreciate the freedom for two hours, these kinds of classes are a bit harder to review as I cannot relay the experience or take pictures.  I will simply have to go on what my son tells me and post pictures of the project(s) he brings home.

Drop off classes are always humorous for me right from the beginning.  It usually starts with me being asked if I am staying.  When the answer is no, I then normally get, "But I will miss you."  That lasts until we pull into the park district parking lot.  Then I cannot get him out of the car seat fast enough.  When Ms. Sam opens the door for the kids to go upstairs, Jack is usually gone like a shot with barely a "Bye" for me.  I love that he has so much fun and is so excited.

Being that this is the first program I am reviewing I will make a few comments about the time and cost of the program.  $26 - $32 might seem a bit on the high side of pricing, but they do feed my child dinner and he always bring home at least 1 craft (many times more) in addition to the activities they do.  Plus while 2 hours isn't a lot of time to get things done, I am always able to run a few errands sans the "shopping distractor."

As for the time of the class, there have been days when it seems too late for a young child to be out.  However, that being said, I appreciate that I don't have to rush home from work and then rush to get Jack to the class.  Could the class be shorter?  Probably, but with all they do with the kids there certainly would not be enough time to have that much fun.  In short, 6:15 - 8:00 may seem less than ideal for small children, but it actually works nicely.

When I arrived to pick Jack up, the kids were all in the dance studio working hard on their Irish Jig.  It was so much fun - for kids and parents.

And not to disappoint, there were awesome crafts to be brought home.

A cute leprechaun hat

Some gold the leprechaun they tried to catch left behind

A shamrock with a pot of gold

Assembled upside-down on par with Jack's unique touch 

In addition to doing crafts, eating pizza and learning a jig the kids also went on a leprechaun hunt.  As I understand it there were clues - including glow-in-the-dark footprints on the walls!

Grayslake Park District almost always puts on great programs for kids.  Jack looks forward to these special programs.

Wolves Wish Feb. 15, 2014

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Words just cannot say how truly awesome this experience was for Jack.  Thank you seems hardly enough for all Courtney and the Chicago Wolves Professional Hockey did for Jack.

Jack's Wolves Wish Night

It's no secret I LOVE hockey.  To be specific I love Chicago Wolves hockey.  I have been taking Jack to hockey games for a few years now - this is his third season.  I remember deciding it was time to take him to a game.  I worried about if he would freak out when the fire and fireworks started.  I worried about if he would be able to sit through the whole game.  As always, Jack pleasantly surprised me when he loved having his face painted and playing at the Family Fun Fest before the game, got excited when the music and fireworks began, added Skates to his growing list of friends, and sat through the whole game without any fuss at all.

Jack's First Wolves Game

He only went to one game that first season, but the next year he went to a few more.  It was always fun to hear the people around us talk about Jack - all good things of course.  They would comment about how cute he was, how much he seemed to love the game and were even surprised that he would watch the game.




This year, Jack has been to quite a few games, but no will ever compare tot he February 15, 2014 game.




Back in October, before the season even started, I stumbled across a page on the Wolves website for making a Wolves Wish.  I wish I would have saved the message I sent, but I didn't.  So unlike me, but looking back I probably never thought anyone would read it, let alone act on it.  I remember the message being something short about how much Jack loves the Wolves, Skates and hockey.  How that when the little kids come out on the ice to play between periods, Jack cries because he wants so badly to be out there.  I mentioned that he wanted to learn to play hockey, but that he has hip dysplasia and was having an operation in November; and that he couldn't learn to skate or play hockey until after the surgery and the doctor said it was okay.




Much to my surprise I did receive a response (and as I recall it was rather quickly after I sent the message via their website).  Right out of the gate, Courtney Mahoney had a wonderful idea for how Jack could get his wish to be on the ice a little earlier than when he begins his professional AHL career.  She suggested that they would have Jack join Skates on the ice and help throw t-shirts during an intermission during a game.




With only a few games that the Wolves would be in town before the circus arrived and Jack's scheduled surgery date, we tried for a game day after the surgery.  Not knowing exactly how long Jack would be in his cast, and not knowing what recovery would be like after he was freed I shot for a game in February.  October to February - I am not a patient person, that was one heck of a wait for me.  I was so excited for Jack, but I didn't tell him anything.




And that's where I'll leave you until I can properly finish the post about Jack's big night.