Take My Blood Instead?

I obviously cannot speak for all parents and children, but if they are anything like my son when it comes to having blood drawn it's a wonder they can get blood to do any tests.  Jack was good while we waited - and by we I mean him, Nana and I.  I don't think Nana knew what she was in for and I seriously underestimated the need for having another person there with us.

It's always been a difficult thing to get Jack to relax and let them take his blood.  I blame that on the NICU and all the blood tests he had as a baby.  I can still remember them pricking his little foot and "milking" it to get blood out.  Each and every time I saw that my foot hurt in sympathy.

Back to today though.  Jack happily played with another little girl - who I am guessing was maybe around Jack's age; no more than a year older.  The tech entering the orders continually apologized for the wait; explaining that several of the tests couldn't be run by the hospital and would need to be sent out and that on several of them she wasn't sure what they were and would need to double check.  Silly me, maybe I should have asked, when I made the appointment, if they could run the tests.  Oh wait I specifically did.  You see Jack also had to have a lead test done since we live in a pre-1978 house.  I wanted to save my son a trip to the vampires and a co-pay (because I have my fair share of medical bills thank you).

Then Jack's name was called.  We were good right un to the when he crossed the threshold into the room.  I am always amazed at how strong he is for a little guy.  How he made 35 pounds an immovable force I still don't understand.  I honestly thought I might break his arm as I was trying to get his shirt off.  Crying and screaming (not me) - oh my!  Nana tried to hold him on her lap.  yeah, that didn't work.  So I sat in the chair.  Screaming like someone is murdering him and the tech is still only pulling vials to fill with my precious son's blood.

Okay, she's finally pulled what I believe is every single vial in the place - do they really need that much blood?!?!  I hold Jack sideways on my lap, pressing his head to my chest so he's looking away.  We're both trying to get him to calm down, but he's hysterical and I'm sure he's not even hearing a word we are saying.  All he knows is that his blood is suddenly very sacred to him and he doesn't want anyone taking it.  The tech finally decided she needs help.  Um, didn't I tell you that before we even went into the room?  Why doesn't anyone believe me when I tell them important information about my child?  Gee, who am I?  Just the mother who's had to do this a time or two.  He make look little, but he's a fighter.

The second tech comes into the room - now mind you there has been screaming and crying and yelling the whole time.  And surprisingly I am not losing it yet.  The second tech comes in and they grab Jack's arm.  I am holding Jack tightly to my chest and Nana is bear hugging us both.  The new tech - who I am certain IS part vampire, or at least witch, based on her personality, is telling Jack thing like if he doesn't stop they will start all over.  I understand that she wasn't wrong with what she was saying, but there's a right way and a wrong way to talk to a scared 4 1/2 year old.  Now I'm pretty sure that if it didn't mean taking her hands off me and Jack that Nana would have slapped this woman.  We were almost done and the Jack started with begging for us to please let him go.  Oh - - My - - God - - that's where I about lost it.  I could handle the crying and screaming, but how do I hold that Mommy Bear in check when he baby is begging for help?  Thank goodness the torture stopped shortly thereafter.

Well, almost.  The tech then offers Jack a Band-Aid.  Um, no.  I told you he has a fear of them.  They stick to his skin more than a normal person and they bother him when they are on and hurt to get off.  That would be why I asked you for sensitive skin tape.  I think I'll just start carrying that with me from now on since no one wants to listen to me about my son and Band-Aids.  I decide to just hold the wad of cotton on his arm, but she swoops in with medical tape - oh yes, so much better than a Band-Aid.  I don't press it on Jack's skin, knowing that since he is not bleeding (another point she would not listen to me on) I will just toss the cotton when she is not looking.

Then the tech looks at us, and I can tell she's thinking - "Okay take your kid out there and dress him so I can do the next patient,"  but wisely she thinks better than to utter those words and instead says I'll give you a minute.  Toss the cotton and put the shirt on and we're done.

We open the door and see the little girl who just minutes ago was playing happily with a totally different person that she heard in the room (because she's been literally outside the door the whole time).  I swear I can remember her eyes being a bit bigger than they were before.  What can we say to her other than he really doesn't like blood being drawn and that's it really doesn't hurt that much.  Have a nice night Sweetie (poor girl).

You know that thing kids do after they've been crying hard?  That kind of sniffle, breath catch thing?  For the first and - God, I hope - last time I herd that from my son.  Okay, needless to say the flu shots Mommy and Jack were going to get together are off the table.  Time instead for a little toy from Walgreen's across the street and McDonalds's chicken and fries.  They serve margaritas there, right?